Multilingual psychological Support for Expats & International Families

I decided to offer “online expat coaching and online psychotherapy for expats” because, in terms of their origins, the words “expat” (Latin ex and patria: from land, country) and “migrant” (Latin immigrare, to immigrate) express the same thing. In the past, these terms were misused to emphasize differences in social class and skin color. Even today, I see that the distinction between the two terms is sometimes highly emotional on social media, classifies people and is still very much a topic of heated debate.

When I founded YourMindz Health, I realized that I had to choose one of these terms or decide to use both at the same time.

Why am I explaining this here? Because it reflects an important aspect of my work as a psychological counselor, coach and child and adolescent psychotherapist (CBT):

Language creates reality and personality – anyone who hears ten times a day that they belong to a certain group of people, or who tells themselves in the mirror that they have a big nose… will very likely integrate this into their self-image over time. Sadly, language can therefore not only be used to praise toddlers with a “Well done, Jutta!”, but can also be used as a weapon. And you and I, as “expats”, are a particularly vulnerable group: in the first days in a new country, in a new culture, most of us will initially feel rather “speechless” – and actually be “speechless”. Figuratively speaking, our new environment faces us with linguistic “weapons” while we are left without words, because we do not (yet) speak or understand the language of the people around us. But even if we speak the language fluently, we often lack something that is not easy to describe at all – the knowledge of how the culture and the language around us work! It takes quite a bit of resilience and self-esteem not to feel not only “speechless” but also rather “helpless”.

Being of German origin, I already find it hard in my own culture not to take it personally when a Berlin baker, instead of smiling and saying “Good morning”, fires a blunt “Watcha want?” at me. In the Ruhr area, it might have been a slightly friendlier “Mornin’, what’ll it be?” 😊 (stereotypes off 😊 )

When I am in another culture, I am all the more “speechless” in such situations, because I cannot make sense of the things that make that culture unique. Is the French baker unfriendly to me because I am German? Am I checked more thoroughly at the US airport because I am wearing a top hat and pink socks? The answer, unfortunately, is that we can never know what the other person is thinking. That can be hurtful / overwhelming / frightening, …

For many people, the amygdala – one of the oldest parts of the brain, responsible for processing emotions – works at full speed during this exciting time. Many feel “more easily hurt” or are at least constantly more alert than in a familiar, trusted environment.

In online coaching for expats, YourMindz Health is aware of this power of words that we are exposed to, and of the effect it has on each of us as individuals.

I use the term “expat” inclusively and include all people who live in another country as temporary workers or on a temporary visa. If I kept separating these two terms without explaining my intention and without offering a space for public discussion (e.g. on my Instagram page), I would be “keeping alive” a reading and interpretation of these terms with a racist background. Yet all of us – expats / migrants / globetrotters / people searching for home – are dealing with the same challenges, and some of us face additional, sometimes very individual challenges on top of that, such as processing our emotions and experiencing racism.

Part of my work consists of jointly analyzing and deconstructing social situations that feel stressful. We check whether our interpretation of the situation is based on facts. Then we think together about which steps you need to build resilience (psychological strength) in your new everyday life. Which coat do I want to choose so that I can bring my inner world back into harmony with the world around me? How can I find my home within myself, no matter where in the world I am right now!